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12 February 2010 @ 02:48 am
left behind/moving on  
I've been feeling irritable lately, quietly losing my patience with my family, my dogs, news articles, not being able to find the shoes I want to wear, alarm clocks, conservative high school classmates writing stupid shit on their Facebook statuses... I think my mood has to do with Scott leaving in less than 12 hours. He'll be in New York until Wednesday, then fly back to Sri Lanka on Thursday. I'm sad that he's leaving without me. I'm jealous that he'll be back to a place that I've been missing every day since I've been home. But because it couldn't be as simple as "I miss Colombo," I'm still set on going back to Paris.

Sri Lanka seems to have become my comfortable fall back plan. It's the place I know I'll return to, but there's another place that I know I need to be. I know that spending time in Paris is something that I need to do for myself. I need to push myself to do something daring and overwhelming, even though the normalcy and safety of Colombo is extremely tempting.

flying a kite

I know I just need to get motivated, register for a class, complete all the visa requirements, find a sublease in Paris for a month or so (I'd find a more permanent arrangement once I got there), and buy a plane ticket. I want to be in France before my birthday. That's my timeline.

And since we're talking timelines, let's say I'll be in France for 9-12 months. The 2011 Cricket World Cup (hosted by Sri Lanka, India, and Bangladesh) is in February. As much as I hope to visit Colombo before 2011, this is definitely a long term goal. Because I love cricket.

I'm going to miss having Scott around. I like running errands with him that are punctuated with Dunkin Donuts coffee breaks, then Starbucks coffee breaks, then visiting with John from Giovanni's and drinking three cups of coffee. And he and I keep similar sleep schedules. And I'm the only one who [kind of] cares when he gets excited about the latest spike in the Colombo Stock Exchange. Sheesh, I'm going to make myself even more sad thinking about not having him around like this. I suppose it's suffice to say that he and I got pretty close the past few months.

I'm going to stop being so mellow yellow, enjoy my weekend, then get crackin' on making this plan work.